Meet Joan Mwangi, A Trauma Informed Life-Coach!
For those meeting you for the first time, how do you usually describe who you are and the work you do—beyond titles and credentials? I am Joan (Pronounced Joanne) Mwangi. My work as a trauma informed life coach is to create safe and affirming spaces where black women can heal their multi-generational wounds that typically stem from childhood. I truly believe the idea that when a woman heals, she heals the seven generations before her and seven generations after her.
Was there a defining moment or season in your life that first connected you to inner child work? Absolutely! In 2015 my daughter had a mental breakdown stemming from Adverse Childhood Experiences coupled with adult trauma and ended up admitted in a local mental hospital. This incident shook me to the core, and I was willing to do whatever it took to make sure she was okay. She had to start therapy to work through what was hurting her. In desperation, I asked the doctor what I needed to do and he suggested I start therapy too.
During the sessions with my therapist, I was asked about my childhood and what it was like. This incident was deeply unsettling to me, and my only focus was making sure she would be okay. She began therapy to process what was hurting her. In my worry and love for her, I asked the doctor what I should do to ensure that she had the parental support she needed and deserved. He suggested that I begin therapy as well. It was in my sessions that my therapist invited me to reflect on my childhood and what my early years had been like.
Therapy opened the floodgates of unresolved childhood and generational trauma that was showing up in how I was living and more importantly in my relationship with my daughter. After a few years of therapy and self-excavation, I realized there are many high achieving black women like me walking around masked in unbearable emotional pain that need relatable help. I signed up to become certified as a life coach in a program that required me to do additional deeper inner work so that I showed up with compassion and professionality for those who came to me for coaching.
How do you explain inner child reparenting to someone who’s never heard the term before? Inner Child reparenting is the intentional healing practice of giving yourself what you needed as a unique child and did not get it due to various reasons. You become the safe, steady adult your child self-needed.
What do people often misunderstand about inner child work—and what do you wish they knew instead? There are several misconceptions about inner child work. There is an assumption that the work is about:
-Making our parents “bad” people.
-That we don’t need it culturally especially as black people.
-It keeps us “stuck” in a past we would love to forget because of how painful it was.
-That it is for weak or mentally ill people.
-That Christians do not need it, because Jesus died for us.
-That it makes us emotionally unstable.
-That healing makes us selfish and emotionally distant.
Nothing could be further from the truth. Inner child work is about self-awareness. It’s about reconnecting with the parts of us we unconsciously learned to suppress so that we could belong, survive or succeed. It’s about recovering the parts of you that learned to disappear so you could belong, survive, or succeed. It’s about gently reclaiming the parts of yourself that you learned to tuck away in order to belong or survive and lovingly bringing them back into the light because they are a beautiful and essential part of who you truly are.
In your workshops, what themes or wounds seem to show up most often for the women you serve? Self-abandonment and high-functioning co-dependency are the major themes that consistently show up in my workshops. Others include but are not limited to a lack of boundaries, hyper-vigilance, chronic over-functioning, emotional dysregulation and suppression, hyper-responsibility for other people’s needs while neglecting ones needs, difficulty resting without guilt, resentment paired with unreasonable loyalty, perfectionism, fear of failure, chronic people pleasing in the work place and at home, reactions that don’t match the perceived offense and distrust of genuine support.
What shifts do you see when someone truly begins to show up for their inner child with consistency and compassion? Here are some of the major shifts I see:
-Self-compassion- self-criticism and harsh self-talk ceases to be a way of life.
-Healthy Boundaries with self and others.
-Considering truth and fact before creating stories and assumptions about people, places and things.
-Emotional regulation and embodiment- they know how they are feeling, why they are feeling it, where in their body they feel it and why they feel it.
-Understanding of true needs- They know what their true core needs are and why their core needs tend to lean in a specific area like safety, individuality, relationships and growth.
-Healthy reciprocal relationships.
-Collaborative family units.
-Healthy and conscious parenting.
-Inner peace which also translates to better health.
Why is this work so important to you now—at this point in your life and career? This work is important to me now more than ever because I can clearly see how our wounded inner child contaminates our world. I use the word contaminate as an acronym adapted from a book, Homecoming by John Bradshaw, that really helped me in my journey. Below is what the word represents in our wounded inner child.
C- Codependency
O-Offender Behavior
N- Narcissistic Disorders
T-Trust Issues
A-Acting Out and Acting In
M-Magical Beliefs
I- Intimacy Dysfunction
N-Non-disciplined Behavior
A- Addictions
T-Thought Distortion
E-Emptiness
These are the behaviors we see in adults that affect how they show up at work, at home and in the community. When a person is aware of how they show up and how people experience them, with the right professional support, they learn to do better for themselves and for others. This is how we heal the world one person at a time because healing is contagious.
Is there a moment from a workshop (without sharing details) that affirmed for you that this work truly matters? Most recently a client shared that her holiday season was the calmest it has ever been in over 50 years, because she used the tools she got from the program to stay grounded in herself. These types of testimonials are a reminder that what I do is important and it is impacting everyday people in a positive way.
How do you help women move past shame or self-judgment when reconnecting with their younger selves? What I have found to be effective in helping women move past shame when reconnecting with their younger selves is to shift the focus from self-criticism to self-compassion. Shame fades when women can see their childhood behaviors as intelligent survival responses shaped by real cultural, familial, and systemic pressures—not personal failures. Inner child work becomes healing when it’s about witnessing rather than fixing, slowing the body down, and separating identity from coping strategies. When a woman feels safe enough to meet her younger self with context instead of judgment, compassion follows naturally, and self-trust begins to rebuild.
What signs might suggest that someone’s inner child is asking for attention—even if they don’t realize it yet? One of the most common signs I see is a disproportionate emotional reaction that does not match the incident in question. Road rage is a common example of a disproportionate reaction to an incident. Many times, the reaction of someone unconsciously changing lanes and cutting another off does not warrant the type of rage we see on our roads.
What’s one gentle practice someone can begin today to start reparenting themselves? One practice I ask my clients to practice is to introduce mindless play into their lives. Many black women were parentified at a very young age which means play was seen as childish. Reconnecting with our inner child through play is one of the most powerful freeing practices.
If you could speak directly to someone who’s hesitant but curious about this work, what would you want her to know? Inner child work is a gentle way of giving yourself the love, care and safety you never received as a child. Doing this work creates strength without fatigue, boundaries without guilt, and wholesome relationships without shame.
What’s next for you—and how can our community continue to learn from and support your work? Thank you for asking. I offer two healing circles in the form of a Boundaries Masterclass and an Inner Child Reparenting Journey. Below is more information.
I am launching a trauma and culture informed Boundaries Masterclass for Black women on February 14th, 2026. Women are constantly self-abandoning because the world has normalized and unconsciously celebrates over-functioning, hyper-responsibility and self-abandonment. My goal is to equip women with the right tools to set healthy limits in every area of their lives so that they too can be present and enjoy life. Those interested can sign up at www.joanmwangi.com
On April 4th, 2026, I will launch the Inner Child Reparenting Journey for Black Women. This is a comprehensive journey of self-discovery and returning to the truest version of yourself. It is a journey of unlearning and relearning; it’s a journey of radical truth and radical self-acceptance. A journey that ends with transformation and community. Anyone interested in this journey can set up a free 30-minute intake call with me at https://calendly.com/joanmwangi/coaching_intake